Kindness is one of our core values at Unseasoned Greetings. And the first step in showing kindness and compassion towards others is to first treat yourself well.
Although the idea of self care has gained popularity, it can be challenging to comprehend what it really means for each of us as people. Self care has been a trendy topic for a while, but let's face it, it can be challenging to understand what it means for each of us personally. And if you're anything like me, you might be bogged down in the never-ending quest to figure out what the hell it actually means for you. I feel like I could have been the poster girl for all the stereotypical self-care activities like massages, hot baths, and shopping trips, but they didn't always leave me feeling fulfilled.
It wasn't until recently that I think I’ve cracked the self care code. Someone advised me to consider what my love languages are before establishing a self care routine that revolves around them.
I’d always thought love languages were only used to teach others how we want to be loved by them. I’d never really clicked that they could also be used to understand how to love ourselves in a way that feels good and genuine.
But before I go any further into that, let's talk about love languages. I’ll do this for the benefit of those who don’t know much about them. There are five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Each love language is unique and can be used to express love and care in different ways.
Lemme break them down for you:
- Words of affirmation involve verbal expressions of love, such as compliments and kind words.
- Acts of service involve actions that show love and care, such as doing the dishes, helping with chores, or running errands.
- Receiving gifts involves thoughtful gifts tailored to the person's preferences.
- Quality time involves spending undivided, focused attention on the person through conversation, activities, or other forms of bonding.
- Physical touch involves showing love through hugs, holding hands, and other forms of physical contact.
For the sake of illustrating my point, I’ll fill you in on my love languages - they are acts of service and words of affirmation (if you ever want to make me happy, please remember these).
Once I figured these out, my self care routine started to shift.
Acts of service as self-care for me looks like taking care of tasks that have been weighing on my mind, such as cleaning, organising my space or sitting down with my calendar and planning my time for the week. Words of affirmation as self-care looks like writing positive affirmations for myself or talking to myself out loud in a really positive way (this usually happens in the car when no one else is around).
This may sound silly but these things genuinely make me feel good about myself and leave me feeling recharged. Can anyone else relate?
So, what's your love language? Take the quiz to find out! And remember, self-care isn't one-size-fits-all. Take the time to figure out what works for you and embrace it. By embracing self care, you are showing yourself kindness and love which is the foundation for being kind to others
And also, if you’re in a relationship and you’ve never spoken to your partner about each other’s love languages, I recommend that you do. Knowing how your partner likes to be loved will help strengthen your relationship…You’re welcome! ;)